TheWritePath

      As a child, I was a victim, as a young adult I was a survivor, but as a child of God, I am an overcomer by the blood of the Lamb and the word of my testimony [taken from Revelation 12:11].     Abuse does not always leave scars that can be seen when we look upon its victims, yet they are there nonetheless. For some, they leave outward scars that stand as a constant reminder of their past; that was the case for me. As I was growing up, the ugliness I felt inside caused me to dig at my skin, trying to get the ugliness off. As a result, I have scars covering my arms and legs. For years, they never let me forget my shame, holding me captive to the past. I would try to hide them, or when asked what happened, I would lie. That night, I learned it was the lying to others and myself that fed the secret. It wasn't until I was thirty-three that I remembered the sexual abuse that I had buried since I was five years old. I had never told anyone, not even my parents, wh...

    As I stared down at the impression in my hand, I understood it was not the rock I needed to let go of; it was the pain of my past. I had embedded the hurt so deep in my heart that I couldn't bear to hold on to it any longer. You see, when we hold on to the rocks of our past, we have a tendency to use them. Sometimes, we cast them at others who are getting too close as a warning to stay away. Other times, we use them as weapons to strike when we feel threatened. But most of the time, we use them to build a fortress around our hearts so no one can get in. These are the ones that become like a tomb, incasing the deadness of our heart from ever getting hurt again.      I realized that night that fear was the gripping force behind the hand that held the rock. As I sat there, God gave me a revelation as to why the fear had such a motivational force behind it. The secret of the abuse was berried as deep as the shame it caused. As long as it remained a secret, it ha...

        WE ALL HAVE THINGS IN our past we try to run from or bury deep within ourselves. Sometimes, the smallest will trigger a reaction that results in a domino effect of uncontrollable emotions. I was such a person.     As a survivor of abuse, there was always an element of fear that controlled my life. As a small child, it kept me bound from discovering who I was, and as a young adult, it kept me from giving or being able to receive love. Early in my Christian walk, I knew something was wrong. There was always that part of me that was afraid to reach out, even to God. Unable to sleep, I would wander around the house or sit in the porch swing staring into the night. Many times after my family had fallen to sleep, I would get up and study or read until the early morning hours. There was one night that stands out in my mind; I had been reading Psalms when God spoke so clearly to my heart.     There was a full moon out that night, and after re...