Memoral Stones (Day 4 from a untitled collection)

 

            The next stone is a lilac lepidolite or the stone of trust; it’s said to have a calming property with a transforming effect as you learn acceptance and trust; it is a stone of hope found in self-forgiveness. I would be the first to admit that trusting is hard for me; like many of you, the people I put my trust in have hurt me the worst. So when I came to the Lord I had to learn to whom I could put my trust. I learned that I could trust in God’s word because it was true and it did not return void, and I learned to hide his word in my heart; and that I could trust Jesus because he was the living word.  Proverbs 3:5-6 became my guiding light, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your path” (NKJV).  That’s why I knew for certain it was the Lord that led us to the lake house; as I have said at the time I had forgiven myself for what I believed was my failure’s, but I had not quite learned to fully trust myself again. However since we’ve moved here I have undergone a transformation, the word puts it this way, “. . . be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God” (Romans 12:2, NKJV). Believing in myself had always been hard for me, and to be honest, the only one that has ever been able to break through, peeling away all the layers of self-doubt, has been the Lord. I was in his word day and night allowing him to guide me through the scriptures; “all scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness” (2Timothy 3:16, NKJV). This memorial stone reminds me that as long as I have his word hidden in my heart I can overcome anything!

 

                It was after we came here, and the Lord began his transforming work in me, that I had the confidence to start writing again; thus my next stone was placed on my shelf of memorial stones. It’s a citrine crystal, it is said to awaken creativity and imagination.  My parents use to tell me I was a dreamer, and I am, one of my greatest abilities has been creativity and my imagination, but it wasn’t until I came to know the Lord that I realized it was a gift. It’s amazing when you stop to think about it, because of visual dyslexia, reading was difficult for me, in school I was labeled slow or lazy. But when I came to know the Lord he took something that had always been my weakness and turned it into his strength.  1 Corinthians 1:27-28 is a glimpse into the mind of God that helped me understand the work he has done in me. “. . . God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty; . . .  and the things which are despised God has chosen, and the things which are not, to bring to nothing things that are” (NKJV).   I don’t know about you but at first, I found this scripture a little confusing, then someone I looked to for guidance told me to study the calling of Moses; my search took me back to the book of Exodus.  Moses made one excuse after the other as to why he was not the one to send to Egypt to set God’s people free, but it was when he said, “O my Lord, I am not eloquent, neither before nor since You have spoken to Your servant; but I am slow of speech and slow of tongue” (Exodus 4:10, NKJV). What I want you to see is Moses knew his limitations and continued to resist the Lord, just like I did or perhaps you have, Hebrews 13:21 tells us if God calls you He will equip you. Now let’s go back to our scripture, what God is saying is your inabilities are not an issue nor is your education or social position; why do you suppose he does that?  The answer is found in verse 29, “that no flesh can glory in his presence.” Believe me, when I am writing I’m very much aware of my inabilities, I have worked for up to eight hours just to find one word because I couldn’t spell it or find it in a dictionary,  isolated words are very difficult for me! When I received the first edit for Cleansing Thoughts I felt like I was back in high school again and looking at my graded papers in English class, A in content / F in grammar, I didn’t know if I should laugh or cry, so I did both!