In Psalm 23 we are told that the Lord is
our Shepherd, but do you know what that means? The Bible mentions shepherds and their duties
over two hundred times. When I was in Israel our guide explained that it was
the shepherd’s responsibility to carry the weak lambs in their arms until they
were strong enough to stand on their own; Isaiah 40:11 uses God metaphorically
in this same manner. The Tanakh is a translation of the scriptures according to
the traditional Hebrew text states it this way, “. . . He gathers the lambs in
His arms and carries them in His bosom . . .” It was also the shepherd’s duty
to stand guard over the flock by day in the fields and by night in the
sheepfold. I believe that’s what God had done for me all that time when I was
too weak to stand on my own. In Hebrews 13:5, Jesus, as our Shepherd, said He
would never leave us nor forsake us, and He never did.
Have you ever looked up the word empty
in the dictionary? When the word empty is used as an adjective the definition
described the way I felt about myself; lacking substance or value, having no
purpose or result. No wonder my sister had been so concerned for me, and all the
others I knew were praying. I had been that type of person, but not
anymore! The word of God tells us in 1 Peter
5:8 that our adversary, the devil, walks about seeking the kind of person he
can consume, or devour. It was their prayers, and my cries to the Lord, that
had been keeping him at bay. I knew now that I had to refill myself with who I
was in Christ because all battles begin
in the mind I started there; 1 Corinthians 2:16 states as a Christian I have
the mind of Christ. The Lord had shown me
years ago that I was an overcomer and taught me to stand on Revelation 12:11. When looking through the different translations
of the Bible, the text in the Complete Jewish Bible (CJB) jumped out at me, it
states “They [meaning Christians] defeated him [referring to the devil] because
of the Lamb’s blood [the blood of Christ] and because of the message of their
witness.” My witness had gone silent for
way too long and I knew I had to do
something about it. As I grew stronger I
shared with a select few how the Lord had given me the reasons the store had
closed and how he brought me out of the
emptiness I have been feeling for so
long. As weeks passed I continued studying his word
I could feel the emptiness leaving and the
presence of the Lord returning. In
scripture when the word upright is used to describe an individual it is saying
that God approves of their character or behavior. Psalm 140:13 from the CJB says “. . . the upright will
live in your [God’s] presence.” I was so
excited for what God was doing, and I knew He was not finished with me yet.
Jeremiah 29:11 says, “‘For I know the plans I have in mind for you,’ says Adonai, ‘plans for well-being, not for
bad things; so that you can have hope and a future.’” I had no idea what his plans for me could be
but I was sure of one thing—it was going to have to be His. Oh, I knew He wouldn’t harm me, but the last
few years just seemed to go from bad to worse, and I wasn’t ready to put myself
out there again.
The store closed in 2008 and in
2013 we made a major change in our lives. It had been a five-year climb out of my pit of despair and I was ready for a new
beginning. In scripture, the number five is symbolic of God’s grace, and it was
only by the grace of God that I had gotten through it. As I
entered the next stage of my life I knew in all I did I would acknowledge him
and he would direct my path.
As
you read through this story about the loss of a dream perhaps it stirred up
something deep within you that you have kept hidden for years, something that
still pulls at your heartstrings. Grief
is not limited to the loss of a loved one, which in its self is hard enough,
but covers so much more. For years I didn’t understand that, therefore, I never
truly recovered from the many losses that life brings; as a result, each loss
piled upon another, and then another.
Perhaps, like me, it was the loss of a dream; something you wanted for
so long it became a part of you. Perhaps it still remains an unfulfilled dream,
and you see time is not on your side to see it ever coming to fruition.
Whatever the circumstances there is one that understands your every need, your
every hurt, and your deepest desires; and He wants to bring restoration to your
life. It wasn’t until I understood that
the store was my desire, my dream for my life, not necessarily Gods that I was
able to let it go and begin to work past the grief. He had honored my dream and
stood by me while the store was open; many were touched through the ministry
that the store provided to the community, but He looked beyond the now to a
time when He knew I would be ready for the plan He had for my life, and He is doing that with you right now.
There was another level to the grief I was experiencing that perhaps you might
be going through; it was the loss of my identity. Before I became a Christian, I was a wife and
mother and I devoted myself to my family, and at the time I found it
fulfilling. However, I spent a lot of
time alone as the boys grew older and found their own interests. As a Christian
my priority was God first, family second and job third; but when I lost the
store something changed inside of me and I was unable to hear God’s voice or
feel His presence with me; my identity was gone and the emptiness I felt was
like nothing I had ever experienced. With the faith I had in myself as a
Christian was gone I felt totally alone. If this is where you think you might
be headed then I encourage you right now to listen carefully; Isaiah 61:1, when
speaking of Jesus says, “. . . He [God] has sent me to bind up the
brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and opening of the prison to them that are bound” (NKJV). Child of God
it’s time to let the prison doors of grief open wide, Jesus wants to bind up
your disappointments at the loss of your dreams and set you free so He can
restore your soul, setting you on the path He has prepared for you. Believe me,
it is far greater than you can ever imagine. Just sit back, close your eyes and
let's pray together; "Heavenly Father I
bring this precious child of God before you who has been hurt and grieving by
the loss of their dream that became their heart’s desire. Lord, only you can set them free and heal their
broken heart. And, Lord, only you can guide them to the path of life you created
for them to follow. Father, may Your dream for
their lives become real to them as they let go of their grief and begins a new
journey walking beside You. Help them, Lord, to know who they are through Your
eyes that their identity will never come into question again. In Jesus' name,
we pray. Now I encourage you to just sit a minute in His presence and let His
love cover you once again.
Now
precious child of God spread your wings
and fly, there is a whole world of possibilities waiting for you. “And the
peace of God, which passes all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds
through Christ Jesus,” (NKJV).
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