The First Stone (Day 4. from Cleaning Thoughts)
I wish I could tell you that all my insecurities were put to rest that night, but in all honesty, I can’t. However, I can reassure you, in dealing with the situation, I have found peace. I have spoken with my pastor regarding this matter, and with his support and encouragement, I have been able to let go and give it to the Lord. With the Lord’s guidance, I am learning not to allow my feelings to rule my judgement. He had assured me in His Word that as long as I keep my mind on Him, He would keep me in perfect peace. A year has come and gone since that night, and due to a lot of circumstances in my son’s life, with my blessings, he is now living with his biological father. God, in all His mercy, had given them a chance the chance to start over, and for that, I will always be grateful.
The Word tells us that “faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen” (Hebrews 11:1, NKJV). As I am writing this, I do not know how the story will end. Things are still uncertain, but I have put my faith in the Lord. For me, that is all I need to know. Oh yes, I want to leave you with this: in letting go, my son and I are working through my insecurities together. We have always been close, and by trusting Hid, we always will be.
The Word says we are to forgive our brothers seventy times seven and that by our acts of love, they might be restored to fellowship. It says nothing about condemning, then why do we, so many times, like the Pharisees, pick up our stones and stand ready to condemn?
Several years ago, I found a beautiful amber colored glass stone, and when I held it up to the light, I could see through it. The stone was smooth to the touch, all but one small sharp tip where it was cut free. I kept it as a reminder that I have no right to cast the first stone for I too have fallen short of the glory of God and that there is nothing in my life hidden grim Him.
I do not write this story to condemn; that is why when writing it, I did not dwell on the past, but write in only in the hopes that in sharing, someday, it might help bring healing to others. I have made my decision to make Christ lord of my life, and that includes the past; however, it is not something I have to carry alone anymore for I have given this burden to Him. And I can say, with all sincerity, I found peace, understanding, and forgiveness in my heart. And should any doubt ever enter my mind, all I have to do is reach in my pocket and feel the stone.
I want to leave you with a question:if Jesus was kneeling before you what would Ge write in the dirt about you? If you are reading this and you are feeling the pull at your heady to let go and let God, I encourage you to run to the throne room if grace. He is there waiting for you. If you don’t want to walk alone, I’ll walk with you. Just take my hand.
“Heavenly Father, I bring your child with me into Your presence, asking that You would give the strength to let go of the past and lay it at the altar. Father, show Your path to forgiveness, and keep their steadfast on You, that peace will be restored to their heart once again. It is in Jesus’s name, I pray.”