It was a long time before the Lord could reach that quiet place in my heart that only He could touch, and then it was with a gentle rebuke. For weeks, I had been casting the blame at everyone’s feet except my own. I had gathered up my bundle of stones and was determined to throw them. That’s why it was so funny when the Lord led me to the passage where the Pharisees brought the women caught in the act of adultery before Jesus. So many times when we look at this scripture, all we see is the act itself; however, there are two powerful lessons to be learned from it we often overlook. The first is reinforced in Romans 3:23 (NKJV), “For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of Hod.” Abs the second was spoken by Jesus, “He who is without sun among you, let him throw a stone at her first” (John 8:7, NKJV). Remember what Jesus did as the Oharisees were presenting their case to Him? The Word tells us in verses 6 and 8 that He stooped down and began writing in the dirt; however, it does not tell us what He wrote. What the Word does say is, “Those who heard it, being convinced by their conscience, when tout one by one” (John 8:9, NKJV). Have you ever wondered what He wrote? Perhaps He began to write the sins of those standing in judgement against her, and as each one read their sins, they dropped their stones and walked away. If this was the case, I know in my heart what He is writing about me i the dirt tonight. You see, I had placed myself above God in this situation and had allowed all my insecurities to rule my feelings instead of trusting Him.
The Lord then took me to Proverbs 3:5-6 (NJKV), “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, He shall direct your path.” I guess in hopes of finding a loophole in the text, I looked it up in the Amplified Bible, only to find verse 5 had reached to the very heart of the matter. It read, “ Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on tour own insight or understand.” Needless to say, the stones I had spent weeks gathering fell to the ground. I was allowing my mind to remember all the hurt and not placing my confidence in Him to guide all concerned in this matter, and by not doing so, my relationship with my son was in jeopardy.
I remembered many years back when I had asked, through a lawyer, my son’s father to sign the adoption papers. I had become very ill and was concerned if something should happen to me, he would loose the only family he had ever known. Until now, my feelings were influenced by the hurt from so long ago that I hadn’t given much thought to his father’s feelings, but suddenly, I am very much aware of how he must have felt in giving up his only son. I now understood just how much he must have loved him, for out of same love, I too had to let my son go.
After I had come to recognize my own sin in all of this and asked the Lord for forgiveness, He began to speak to my heart once again. There was still another lesson to be learned. This time, I was led back to the book of John 8:10-11. One by one all her accusers had dropped their stones and left her standing alone with Jesus. With no one to condemn her, Jesus replied to the woman in verse 11 (NKJV), “Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more.” I needed reassurance, and I believe to this day that the Lord was telling me if I would let it go all of the hurt and fears I was handing on to, Ge would work all things out for good. My own insight based on the past was causing me to stay focused on the hurt, and He, on the other hand, saw the hearts of all concerned. I had been told by my son’s father had turned his life around and I needed to trust God that he had and somehow would be able to help our son find his way again. It’s funny; “our son,” I realized this was the first time I had ever said those words, and as I sit here reading those words, I realize the heaven burden I was carrying in my heart has been lifted!
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